The only two sentences I can say in German are, “I do not speak German. Do you speak English?” When I’m in Germany, I can’t even get three words out before whomever I’m talking to nods, smiles, and switches to English. I must have some kind of an accent or something that gives me away.
Ich könnte es dir beibringen, du alberne Schlampe.
(via useless-girlrage)