inherplace-alt:
“ subgirlygirl:
“ hurtingprettygirls:
“ You’re welcome to keep telling me what you do and don’t want, but there’s really nothing you can do to stop me.
”
Except use the safe word, of course.
Right?
”
You’re absolutely right, porn...

inherplace-alt:

subgirlygirl:

hurtingprettygirls:

You’re welcome to keep telling me what you do and don’t want, but there’s really nothing you can do to stop me.

Except use the safe word, of course.

Right?

You’re absolutely right, porn really does need helpful disclaimers to remind everyone of the difference between fantasy and reality. At every possible opportunity.

That’s why when I talk dirty to anyone, I make sure to do it like this:

“I want to fuck you (assuming that you’re in the mood) so hard (assuming that you’re not having any issues with vaginal soreness) that you’ll be walking funny (assuming that you’re okay with that and don’t have any traumatic childhood memories involving being teased for your limp) at work (assuming that you won’t get into trouble with your boss and also assuming that you’re going to continue your employment, because you are empowered and can make any life-decisions you choose) tomorrow (assuming you work tomorrow, you haven’t emailed me your schedule for this week), baby (assuming that it’s okay for me to call you that, I know many women consider it a term of endearment and like it but on the other hand some find it offensive and I don’t mean anything negative by it, please disregard if it bothers you).”

I find that it makes things so much easier and sexier and better for everyone involved. Really, all blogs should include little disclaimers like this to be certain that people who can’t tell fantasy from reality will not get any dangerous ideas (assuming that they don’t watch any horror movies, crime dramas, or read suspense novels).

Utterly priceless.

(via degraded-fucktoys)